My husband ended up in the hospital all last week. He had hepatitis encephalopathy (impaired brain functioning due to toxin buildup, aka "confusion"). It was a more than a little frightening. My husband is not a particularly physical man, but he is very intellectual and seeing his inability to communicate or even to stay awake to communicate was feeling like we are losing him though he is right next to us.
Zoralei ended up doing a lot of childcare, staying with kids when not in school. And all this was going on while she was beginning long lacrosse practices. She has done a lot of running, so much so that her legs are a mass of knots. She says they hurt. In one practice, she was hit with the ball fairly hard and they kept asking her if she was hurting. Zoralei's reported response was, "Yes, but I have RND, so do not fuss over me. Anything that hits me with that kind of force is going to hurt more than it might someone else, so you can not decide if I am okay by whether I have pain or not." Of course, they still fussed until she just went back to running.
Zoralei is now the official chauffeur for her father. An unfortunate side effect of the hospitalization is the realization that the toxins will build up again, slowly. He will not realize he is experiencing confusion and so he has been directed to no longer drive (at least not till he gets a new liver). It has been a severe blow to Eric's sense of independence, ego for lack of a better word. Zoralei, who has her permit is now running the errands in the evening that Eric would have done. He is the supervising driver, but he does not have to be the one behind the wheel. Poor Zoralei, the load keeps growing and so does the stress. I try to minimize it by running as many errands as possible, but with Eric being in pain and feeling sick a lot, sometimes the driving errands are easier on him than juggling dinner, cleanup, five small kids needs, etc.
I started my master's in teaching program yesterday and today is my surgery for a breast lump removal. It really has been a long couple of weeks. In between, we had several emergency room runs with small kids and illnesses. Truly, a long couple of weeks. Yesterday, we made cookies for Zoralei's friend having a rough day and it was absolutely therapeutic for Zoralei and I to eat the dough.
I am trying to find a good balance with schooling, homeschooling, meeting my kids needs, countless doctor appts, and picking up the slack when my husband is too sick - and trying not to lay the burden on my other children. I am trying to make the only additional burden on Zoralei to be helping her dad by being his chauffeur. The other children have helped a bit more with chores, animals, and looking out for each other. If we can all take a piece of the burden, I am hoping it will not be too heavy to bear for anyone in particular. I am anxious to make sure Zoralei's load is not so great that she is prevented from being a normal teenager - pursuing schooling, friends, dating in six months, movie/relax time, homework, and flirting (wink). She had a friend coming over after school and saw one latter in the evening too. I know she was making plans for at the end of the week too. If we do not keep a good balance then her RND might not remain stable at 5/6, but go up to prior to the hospitalization and I am anxious to avoid that. We have enough to juggle without beginning that battle again.
My other children have been struggling. Ironically, it is Zoralei who seems this time to handle it best. Usually, she is the more emotional one in it all, but she hasn't been. I think she is just too busy to be emotional. The other kids did fantastic while we were in the hospital, but since getting back, they have been close to tears over some pretty trivial things and very huggy. Lots of loving being shared. It has not been easy for any of them, but they are all rising to the occasion. They really look out for each other. I am really proud of them in that way. It is not a burden that falls only on the oldest. Even our 3 year old, Renaria, feels the impact and gets a little less cuddle time and keeps making comments asking if her dad 'is feeling better?'
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