It has been a tough couple of days. Zoralei has been not making time to get her exercises done beyond 15 minutes a day and I can see the drama beginning to unfold.
She babysat her siblings the other day and her brother accidentally kicked her in the nose. It bled heavily and obviously was quite painful. Her reaction was through the roof, sort of pre hospitalization stage. Not just crying, lots of drama. She freaked out on her brother, called us hysterically on the phone. The way she talks about the experience (the fact it is all she talks about and focuses on) is so dramatic. The next day, it was still all about her nose, even though there was no visual bruising. If you asked her about anything else, it came straight back to her nose. I have no doubt it was very painful, especially with all the blood and the way in which he hit her. He definitely hit her hard and I suspect that since Zoralei looks like she has slight circles under her eyes, that it is sensitive under the skin, though not obvious to another's eyes. Still, she just wasn't recovering from it and was still icing it hours later and focusing entirely on it the next day.
Even two days later, the first thing she told people at church was about the incident. It was like it was easier to focus on something physically wrong than the fact we did an urban scavenger hike or her brother got a goal in his football game that she attended or that she is working with other youth on a church talent show or that she has almost finished making up all her homework from a three week absence. I am not sure what the implications are of needing to gain some kind of attention from it, but it was pretty obvious that the more stressed she is, the more physical injuries tend to be exasperated; not only do they hurt more, but they are expressed more dramatically and focused on verbally.
We went on an urban scavenger hunt with some friends and she tripped while she was walking. The hysterical crying was instantaneous, even though she recovered from it quickly physically. It was over the top and my husband and I knew we needed to talk to her about what was happening.
Perhaps it is all exaggerated by an upcoming menstrual cycle, but either way, it has been just over the top. She is almost done her makeup work for school, but the fact that it is all she has focused on for two weeks has her completely stressed out. Furthermore, all the pressure from teachers to get her makeup work in quickly (even with a 504 that should have adjusted the work load, but did not really) has left her little extra time to do her at home exercise program, which has not helped at all.
We talked to her about not backtracking. Zoralei said she "did not want to go backwards, but going forward is a lot of work." She was very good about talking about it and recognizing what was happening when my husband and I both independently talked to her today. There wasn't a lot of drama in those conversations which showed me that we have not completely lost the things she learned from the hospital experience. It also showed me that she wants to get better, but as a teenager, it is really hard to find the balance in life, to put herself first when she feels so many people (esp teachers) are depending on her. She keeps telling me 'I am trying" about anything and everything. I reminded her that she is not just trying, she is succeeding. She is doing very well. But it was pretty obvious that her expectations of herself are unrealistic and that she is holding herself to this high standard, recognizing when what she is doing could be improved, instead of seeing how much better she is doing than she had before. But her focus on the negative is not helping her move forward. I can appreciate why the program is designed to teach her not to focus on her pain.
Hopefully, this week will go more smoothly.
No comments:
Post a Comment